I’ll start by telling you that I had a job that I loved for 25+ years.  I was a diesel technician.  I diagnosed and repaired semis as they needed.  If the engines, transmissions, or differentials needed rebuilt, I was able to perform the task.  Other technicians would come to me for advice as well, in which I was happy to oblige.  The companies I worked for paid to send me to the engine factories.  I stayed days to be trained on the latest engines being sold in the semis.  My skills and knowledge base were growing but then the unthinkable happened.

     During the last few years that I was working, I noticed a serious lack of energy.  I tried to adjust my eating habits, but my energy still was lacking.  I also noticed my body was getting weaker, not by much but in my line of work, it was enough for me to take notice.  This drop in energy levels and the weakness also interfered with my ability to be active with my children and since I have 6, that's a lot of people wanting their slice of me.  These issues were mentioned to my doctor in which he responded that I was just getting older.  

     The next issue that arose, was that I noticed my weakness got worse in the summer months causing me to stay inside as much as possible.  Since diesel technicians work in a garage environment, there was no air conditioning available.  A saving grace for me, was that due to my work schedule, I was home 4 days every other week.  I used that time to rest and recuperate as much as possible with 6 children.   Again, I told this to my doctor in which he blamed it on my age.  At that time, I was 37 years old, so I did not believe his assessment.

     In the summer of 2008, I took a friend to Kansas City.  She was being checked for multiple sclerosis (MS).  While I waited, I read the brochures they had available on the subject.  I found that I had many of the symptoms of MS, so I had my doctor start checking.  He sent me to a neurologist who performed a variety of tests designed to diagnose multiple sclerosis.  It was in December of 2009, that a second doctor specializing in multiple sclerosis confirmed the diagnosis that I did, indeed, have MS.

     At that point, Federal Regulations state that a person with multiple sclerosis must have a physical done every 6 months, as opposed to the standard two years.  Two years after being diagnosed with MS, those federal regulations prohibited me from driving semis which meant I could no longer test drive the vehicles I repaired. Since I was forced to have somebody else test drive the vehicles I repaired that put a strain on the relationship with my boss. 

     One of the symptoms of multiple sclerosis is longer healing times, so when I had back surgery in March of 2012, I was unable to return to work.  I'm still unable to return to the workforce.  Now it’s 2022 and I have not been able to power through these stormy seas.  Since I refuse to let MS define me, I used these 10 years to research this disease.  A person can only do so much research before it becomes repetitive, so I decided to pursue another passion of mine.

     As a child, I had a vivid imagination, so I decided to reignite that creative spark.  I know creativity has been festering deep in the abscesses of my mind, so all the energy I had applied to my career, was thrust into stimulating my creativity.  I must admit however, it's taking longer due to the fact I have had some learning to do in the editing department.

     One of the reasons I started this journal is to try and entice my fingers into typing rather than pecking since I used to be able to type 40wpm.  I do find myself, on occasion, able to type but that lasts about 30 minutes, but it’s a start.  Now I said blog, but I am going to use it as a journal and update it on a regular basis.  My plan is to encourage myself to keep working on my novel and if anybody visiting would like to drop a word of encouragement my way in the comments or on the contact form, it would not fall on deaf ears, or blind eyes as the case is since I'm reading.  It’s just one more attempt to keep as active as I can under the circumstances.