Child Passed

I have been unable to do much writing this month since it has been hectic for me.

My oldest daughter, who I only found existed in the past 10 years when she contacted me. Through the course of the past 10 years I have done what I could to go to her and kindle a relationship besides that of mere messaging. Where I found out that she was in the hospital due to a car accident, I gathered things up and went to the hospital.

I found a parking spot close to where I could get out of the van in my wheelchair and make my way without any undue hardship to the front desk. With these new covid security protocols, I had to give them my name.

I was told to wait and somebody would be down to collect me. "This over the top in terms of security," I thought to myself. The nurse arrived and we took the elevator to my daughter's floor where I waited once again. " this is ridiculous," I thought to myself.

"She passed last night," a male doctor in scrubs said as he leaned on the counter.

"I'm here for room 357," I said.

"She passed away last night," he said. "I'm so sorry."

"Her name is Jennifer, she's in room 357," I insisted. I knew there must have been some mistake.

He explained to me why she had passed. As the realization hit me that he was talking about the same person I was wanting to visit, my ears stopped functioning and I sat in my wheelchair, stunned.

My daughter and I had talked the night before and plans were made for me to visit on that day,, so the possibility of what this doctor was saying could not be true. Hence, what he spoke could not exist in this realm of reality.

I had made plans to move closer after my last child finished high school so this daughter and me could have a closer relationship. I had an idea of what could have happened over the course of the next 10 or 15 years.

All of these plans crashed to the floor and lay in a crumpled heap at the base of my wheelchair, a place I am unable to physically access without help.

When I regained my ability to speak, the surgeon was waiting patiently by the counter.

My daughter's mother was in the hospital as well, so with her permission we were able to visit for a little bit. Since I was still stunned with the news and the realization that our daughter has gone to be with the Lord, my ability to carry on a meaningful dialogue was rather limited and with her meal showing up it was time for me to make an exit.